Thank you for subscribing to Grief Recovery Tips. Greetings to our most recent subscribers. Many of you have been waiting a while for your first issue. Today, this is going to 24 subscribers. Feel free to forward Grief Recovery Tips to others who may be going through the trials of a grieving process after experiencing a loss. Loss hurts, and you don't have to go through it alone. Our feature article in this issue is "Take Time to Grieve".


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Take Time to Grieve  

“Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak
Whispers the o’er-fraught heart and bids it break.”
Shakespeare, Macbeth  

In the aftermath of a tragedy in our lives we cannot ignore or hurry grief.  

Grief is the normal, natural, human response to loss.  Grief is a complex process that takes many forms. When a significant loss occurs, not only do we grieve for the present loss, but we also re-grieve from previous losses we’ve suffered because unresolved grief is cumulative. In addition, when a parent dies, we grieve the past that dies, too. When a spouse dies, the present disappears. A child who dies takes a parent’s future with him.

This dynamic affects other losses as well, such as the loss of a job, home or community. Loss dashes our dreams and interrupts our present. The loss of a relationship through divorce or breakup includes the loss of a partner with whom we share a history.  

There is a common myth that, “time heals all wounds.” You may look at the passage of time since your loss and wonder why it still feels so fresh. The reality is it’s what you do with that time that determines your grief recovery process.  

The Feelings

During grief it is common to have many conflicting feelings: sorrow, anger, loneliness, anxiety, even guilt. Experiencing waves of these strong and often confusing emotions can make us feel out of control. In an attempt to regain a sense of control to cope with daily life, we may deny the feelings.  

Well-meaning friends and family may suggest looking on the bright side, or that what happened was “God’s will” or “meant to be.” Or, in our efforts to make sense of everything, we may attempt to remain focused on the notion that “maybe everything is for the best.” Any of these suggestions, however, may lead the grieving person to cut off feelings or to feel pressured to hide their emotions from others. This will only cause the grief process to take longer and get in the way of healing.  

In western culture, we often assume if something is painful, it must be bad. Yet suppressing these feelings and denying the need to grieve can be even harder on both the mind and body than going through the emotions. Pain is a natural part of the grieving process and, if we are to heal, we must allow it.  

Some Things You Can Do When You're Grieving

The process of grieving can be freeing. By embracing it we have the opportunity to grow stronger so that when we must grieve again we will not lose our emotional bearings or retreat in fear. We will be able to release our hold on the past and move more fully into the present.


© 2010 Debbra Bronstad
PO Box 18
Mt. Hermon, CA 95041


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